Friday, August 22, 2008

Children outnumbered by over-60s

Children outnumbered in the UK by over 60s

Soon, the business model for baby shops will change. They will change the name from Mothercare to Grandmothercare. Mamas and Papas to Grandmas and Grandpas. No prams, only mobility scooters. Nappies, well... they will still keep those.

Toys are Us will be Bowls are us. Largest selling oral hygiene product- Pepsodenture. All public transport will go bust giving free service for over 60s. Government income due to speeding fines will decrease drastically as no one is driving above 30 mph. In the tube, instead of finding people plugged into their iPods, you will find them plugged into their hearing aids.

50% of the GP appointments would be missed by those seeking treatment for Alzheimer's. They will be found at Bingo or Bowls.

The cakes will be bigger; you can't fit 60+ candles on normal cakes, can you? Bakers and candle makers (incl. Kapadia Limited) will rake in the moolah.

Flats all over the country will be razed to make way for lavish retirement homes (Motto- We care coz there no one else left to). Britain from Above will look like a mass of grey.

Replaced Hip, hip hurray!

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