Friday, September 23, 2005

28... Up, I think

Was watching this program 49 Up on ITV. It is a documentary tracing the lives of participants since they were 7 years old, at every 7 years interval. So you had 7 up, 14 up and so on. It is aired every 7 years and right from the start, the interviews have been conducted by Michael Apted, now a reputed Hollywood director.

You see one of the kids in the 7 Up program saying that he is going to study in Trinity College, Cambridge and then in 14 Up, that he wants to be solicitor. He does both. Many others don't make it. A few just opt out of the documentary (for the fear of humiliation). One of the participants wanted to be an Electrical Engineer. But goes on to work on shop floor. At 21, he has a desire to better his life and wants out of the job. At 28, he says, whats the point. Now at 49, he is mellow, calm and mostly content, though, looking back, certainly, there will be regret - what happened to all those dreams?

It is quite sad, how your life has a life of its own. The fire in you diminishes and you just give up in the face of the daily drudgery and a barely adequate existence.

I wish, somone back home had taken snapshots of lives of close ones - making them talk earnestly into the camera. Capturing their likes, dislikes, expectations, dreams. Asking them if they are content? Has it all gone well? Could it have been better, if they had tried just a little bit more?

What I have of me is just some hazy, superimposed memories. I would have liked to know how I really was.
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