Thursday, June 09, 2005

Humour insured

Just reading through a functional (Insurance) definitions document prepared by someone from client team. Now, such documents tend to be written in impersonal, formal, and obviously business like manner. Not this one. Obviously British. Analyze this.

Advice - Another person’s opinion of what you should do. In financial terms, this is usually taken to mean the considered opinion of a professional consultant who has looked at all your circumstances (and is therefore likely to give better advice than a bloke in the pub).

Bankers’ draft - A cheque written by the bank itself (and which therefore cannot bounce).

Corporation tax- A tax paid by a limited company on the money it has made. Somehow, some large successful companies never seem to pay any Corporation Tax. Best not to ask why.

Decreasing term - The later into the term you die, the less you get. Watch out for signs of growing frustration on the faces of the beneficiaries!

Fund manager
- Someone who has the satisfying job of investing other people’s money, usually through a unit trust or investment trust. Fund managers need to combine the wisdom of Solomon with nerves of steel. They are usually well paid.

Instant access - An account where the financial institution allows you to withdraw some of your own money at any time without paying them for the privilege of doing so.

That's just till I...
Post a Comment