Himesh Reshammiya - Humko Deewana

My tribute to Himmeshmiya's incredible singing talent


The cover version



tum saanson mein

tum dhadkan mein

tum liver mein

tum Jathar mein

utar gaye


humko dyspepsia - 3 dyspepsia de gaye


tum pancreas mein

tum appendix mein

tum spleen mein

tum tonsil mein

latak gaye


humko nauseate- 3 nauseate kar gaye

humko nauseate - 3 nauseate kar gaye




dil overworked trans fats se

tere boozing se teri diet se

shaam-o-sehar mehke mere har pal tere halitosis se

aaisi totally lag gayi hain yaar - 2

totally lag gayi hain yaar - 2

tum left tibia mein

tum right clavicle mein

tum Jathar mein

tum liver mein

utar gaye


humko dyspepsia dyspepsia de gaye

humko dyspepsia - 3 dyspepsia de gaye

Go 92.5 FM

I have always silently lamented the utter submission of the radio channels to the market forces.


I remember hamare jamane mein, I mean....during B.E., I was such a huge radio buff - those eary times of Radio Mid-day, Times FM and AIR FM. I was a regular listener of Sundown Show, the Morning Show (where Cyrus Broacha and Mohan Kapoor would run riot), the Western Classical segment (Parag Trivedi even had visited our college then). There are other shows which again were very good. Unfortunately, the memories are hazy.


When there was clampdown on private FM channels, I turned to AIR in a big way. AIR has the most amazing library of English songs. They can afford the royalty, whereas the private operaters flog their limited songs (budget constraints) all the time. For me, AIR has been a great window into an electic mix of English music. They would have 1 hour programs dedicated to a just one type of music - Country, Rock, Blues, Pop. The hosts would be mediocre, but they won't do lot of chapar chapar as they had plenty of stock (as against the private operators who can't afford to air more than 10 songs an hour).


This post by Rashmi brings back all the memories. Most of what she says is true. The same songs are played all the time and it gets on your nerves. The programming is severely short on ideas. Going by averages, English hosts are more interesting than their Hindi counterparts. I am also of the breed, who hates RJs who speak in a horrible Hinglish argot - most primetime Hindi RJs are terribly uncomfortable with shudh Hindi.


So, I am sadder that Go92.5 FM has also gone totally desi. Hope the Mid-day guys do a rethink.

Pune map

None of the existing maps of Pune on the web are updated or sufficiently detailed. Here is a decent Pune map, that I received from a friend. Better than most.



Click on the map to zoom.

Update - 07-Jan-2007 - Google maps has gone even more detailed. Check this out

..tujhko...mujhko Bloggery aa gayeeeeeeeee

A good article about how blogging is a good differentiator.


Blogging allows me to express myself hibitidly (without inhibition :-). Probably, it reflects (I hope) that I can write in a coherent and a logical manner.
Without doubt, it has made me good at job, where I need to prepare humongous documentation and immerse myself in in endless query tracker spreadsheets (the bane of any software project).


I know I have been not been giving attention to work because of a slightly important personal project and also this, this and this.


So, my netsurfing (esp of blogs) has shot up beyond control and work suffers. But just look at the project, will you? It's a pain, you know. And all my grim predictions about the project are coming true, to my utter dismay (and some delight as well that I am right).


Anyway, with the kind of coming clean I have done on my blog, I would not use it to embellish my resume. :-))

Little Bird

Mithi river

Read a fine article (in Maharashtra Times or Loksatta) this weekend about how the Mithi river has undergone drastic changes in just 30 years. The writer talks about watchposts erected in the river (yes, you had to use a boat to get there), for avid ornithologists.


Also the writer points out though there is a whole activity on to clear the path of the river from encroachments, the damage cannot be totally reversed. The Bandra Kurla Complex and the MMRDA office (from where directives are issued for Mithi cleanup), themselves are built right in the river bed.


Talk of greater irony!


I wish I could link to the article and the fabulous photos accompanying it

Kshan, marathi movie

New movie got released. Just a heads up. DON'T WATCH IT.


Sophomoric acting, terrible script, non existent editing and Mis direction.


Utter Plain Roobish. Avoid

Contrary to beliefs

The contrarian in me needed a defining catchphrase


Then I read this


Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.

-- Mark Twain


Found one.

Don't be a chicken

Go on, eat chicken. Poultry farmers are dying of bird-flu.

Maa reva, tharo paani vish!

It's being too long, since the aam junta has voiced protests about the glaring anomalies in the Sardar Sarovar R&R (Resettlement and rehabilitation). Dilip wrote a great article about how there was a public outcry after the Jessica murder trial, but none coming forward to support the displaced tribals of the Narmada Valley.


Another very poignant column is here


Probably as rightly pointed out, we don't feel concerned for the poor villagers living a life-time away from our existence. Jessica Lal is closer to our milieu and the people who belong that class have access to media and other mainstream forums, to fight against a major injustice. The people of Narmada Valley don't.


It makes me infinitely glad that Aamir Khan and Tehelka, both I greatly revere for their integrity and fearlessness, have espoused the cause of the victims of Sardar Sarovar project.


I hope more people raise their voices.

Skirting the issue

From the Mumbai Mirror (unreliable link)


Why no PYT wears shorts in Kandivli East



Shameem Akthar says the attitude towards what women wear shows more than is apparent to the eye



For long I lived in Bandra, then shifted Borivli’s idyllic IC colony. In both places I finally felt equal to men with their beer bellies and long underpants because they allowed me to live in a pair of shorts. I shopped in cut-offs, I walked in shorts. Best of all, I didn’t feel I was wearing shorts. But that’s changed since shifting to Kandivli East.



You think this is a frivolous issue? A middle-aged woman with half a toe in the grave, cribbing about not being allowed to pirouette in cut-offs? Believe me, this issue is far deeper than the length of a woman’s dress. Only that locality is safe where an innocent woman, wearing comfortable clothes, is allowed to feel comfortable. I present my argument: Kandivli East doesn’t make me feel that way. If a middle-aged woman sporting grey hair, wearing a spiritual icon around her neck feels that way, I dread to think what my young girl, turning into a pretty teen now, must go through.



The issue gets even pricklier when you read rapist-cop Sunil More’s defence lawyer suggesting the child victim’s character was suspect! If he can actually say that in the heart of seething South Mumbai and not be lynched, I worry what silly irrelevancies can crop off in a `far-away’ suburb with its own set of irrelevant morality. Again, as if that were not enough, soon after several politicians start obsessing about a silly mishap on a fashion ramp. If denizens of liberal South Mumbai can become so regressive, what to expect in `far-off’ Kandivli? I would feel safer, in shorts or otherwise, if these same people start giving equal prominence to corruption, civic safety, pollution, power crisis.



Anyway, after failing to be equal to men in Kandivli by wearing comfortable clothes, I decided to move around in tent-like ones, shunning lipstick, tying up my dread-locks monk-like. Once, outside a school (while in full-length sleeves and un-provocative baggies), I got grabbed by a running youth. Only one man, in a crowd that gathered while I accosted him, actually helped me deal with the situation. As I pondered why shunning shorts has not eased the situation, I had an aha-moment at a local supermart. The security guard, who has this I-am-missing-my-wife-who-is-back-home-in-the-village look, hit upon me. I realised this rude behaviour has nothing to do with a woman’s clothes at all, but with a flaccid male mentality. I complained to the manager who proactively threatened the culprit. But his balm-like action became less effective when he said, “You are the first lady to complain.”



Having a regressive attitude first creates an unsafe space for women. Then, a chalta hai attitude worsens it. If some of you still think this is about an old woman wanting to wear shorts, then god save your wives. And your sisters. And daughters.


Unfortunately, I stay in Kandivli (E). There was also a rape of a 8 year old last Friday.



Related?

Abudana, Dhoondate hain...

Pune guys at work, even freshers, are all seriously looking at buying property. The dreams are bigger and the spaces to house those dreams have expanded. I am in a state of disbelief, when developers (of code) call the developers and ask for rates for 3BHKs.


Well, no problem with that, except people are thinking of buying properties as investment. Isn't it almost as bad as entering the stock market now?

In Pune, I don't think that buying property for investment ever was a good proposition. Pune knows no boundaries (natural ones) and hence new development continues all over, moving away from the main city. Kothrud extends now upto Bhusari and Bavdhan (where water don't climb) and then Aundh extends to Wakad and Sanghvi and touches Hinjewadi. Now, theoretically, if you work in Hinjewadi, you could as well stay in the opposite direction (from the rest of the city). Its still a barren land (may be currently in Agricultural zone) but soon should be open for development. Or you could stay at Pimpri or Chinchwad and still make it to work in 15 minutes.


Pune real estate has followed the general trend of soaring property prices (Mumbai now being in stratosphere), and projects completing in 2007 end are quoting at 1500 - 1800 per sq ft. Places in Wakad (it's still mostly a gaonthan) are quoting at Rs 2100 per sq ft. That for buildings that may be not have roads constructed around them, forget schools, markets or other basic amenities. There are no hutments around, so getting bais is going to be extremely tough, and whoever you get will cost a bomb :-)).


Playgrounds have ceased to be made mandatory while chalking up plots for development, and that makes me extremely angry. But that, another time.


Pune (residential as well as business wise) can grow in any direction, so new migrants are happier living in newer complexes and that means, your older property never appreciates significantly.


With lot of flux generally in my life and the ludicrous market rates, I have anyway decided to live as a nomad, No property purchase for me in the near future.

Apple mantra

With the uninteruppted adulation for the iPod (for every new version), I start thinking of buying the beauty. Personally it is of no real use. Whatever the number of songs you store in it, you grow out of it. And then you need more. A radio is a better option, for that matter. The only time iPod is irreplacable, is when you are walking and want to listen to music. But these days you are not doing that for long. So, you can use always use laptop, PC, radio, mobile, whatever.


Also, the fact that iPod doesn't have a radio bugs me.


But anyway, that is not to obscure the purpose of this blog. To talk briefly about Steve Jobs. Read this article here and here and my admiration for the man swells. To come from such troughs in your career (when he was kicked out of Apple) and to keep delivering stellar products (movies and gizmos), requires a uniquely prescient approach and an unparalleled focus on the quality (style and simplicity) of the product.



To do pathbreaking stuff simply is not easy and Apple products have considerably delivered both.


Everyone just adores an Apple product and the Apple fans are fanatical converts forever. I am just waiting for that indispensible and aesthetically perfect, yet inexpensive product, to come from the Apple tree.

Not cricket

Increasingly, I am getting irritated with cricket and wonder, why we devote so much of our lives following the silly sport. Intended to write a proper essay, but to keep the argument sound and rational, here are a few salient reasons for doing away with the national past-time.


1. Cricket wastes time - In this net-age, where technology changes everyday and every week, there is a new blockbuster, on and off celluloid, we cannot allow a sport to take so much of our precious time. To have an abridged version lasting a full day is a blasphemous waste of time.



2. Cricket kills competition - Since we play it in series (matches of 3-5), it means a month's worth of media-space (newspaper, magazines, tv, radio) spent in covering the series. That means that much less coverage of other sports. Since, media is saturated with cricket news all the time, sports followers are exposed to and discuss little else. The happenings in other sports - big and small are completely neglected and sports enthusiasts are never given a chance to build interest in newer pursuits. It is a vicious circle, where, since there is lack of following, other sports are ignored more. Look at the fate of great non-cricket sportspersons like I M Vijayan, Bhaichung Bhutia, Dhanraj Pillay.



It only pays to be pursuing individual sports like golf or tennis, which are highly remunarative even if you are amongst the top 200 (think Bhupati, Paes, Sania Mirza, Jyoti Randhawa, Jeev Milka Singh).



Other big sports like tennis, football, rugby allow breathing space for other sports to be broadcast and covered on the same day. Cricket, the monster obscures all else.



3. Cricket is Boring - Cricket lasts a day at best and 5 days at worst (purists claim that is the best). Much has been romanticized about the elegant cover drive and the graceful leg glances. Sachin's straight drive has been made to be the stuff of legends. Cricket has been traditionally blessed with great literary writers, who wanted to be set themselves apart from the yobs who followed the beautiful yet raucous football. These are the guys who have put eulogized the beauty of the game. Yes, there is grace and style and elegance in cricket, but so is there in football, curling and even marbles (you would know if Ramachandra Guha wrote about gotis). If you follow a sport doggedly, then I am sure you can dsicover and revel in beautiful minutiae. It's all there, but is noticed and applauded as a virtue only by the romantic followers - one who will watch a silly 5 day test with no result and claim that it was worth it for the elegant late cut by Tendulkar on the 2nd day just before tea. Such claims have been made time and again - that the one shot or the one delivery made it all worthwhile.


It cannot be worthwhile. Because you wasted five whole working days, for one shot, when you could have gone and done something more worthwhile (like playing cricket yourself). Better still, gone ahead and followed some less mind-numbing game. You can still catch with the cricket highlights of good shots and dismissals later



4. Cricket is elitist - It is said that cricket was accepted so widely in India, because it didnt involve body contact as in other team sports like football, rugby, hockey. The attitude even now continues. Cricket is expensive if you want to pursue it at a higher level. The batsman looks as if he is going to war. Esp, kids, just look extremely funny - with the huge pads, arms guards, the oversized helmets, and Hulk gloves. If you want to play "real" cricket, you always need expensive gear. How about keeping it simple and yet truly entertaining? Just one ball and a beautiful game.



5. Cricket is primarily skill, less fitness sport - Nothing wrong with that, except imagine a country of billion followers of the cult of cricket. Cricket tells you that its ok to have a paunch, be a mediocre fielder and even smoke. Remember its only NOW that the fielding standards have improved, but still, people are shocked to see you coming off the field with your clothes dirty. The ball comes to the fielder only in a while, so most of the time on the field is spent just following the game, without being actually involved. Running happens intermittently, so, you don't even need to have great stamina like in other field team sports.



Parents want their kids to be batsmen. Less effort, more mileage. Fielding and even bowling is less respected. Nana Patekar says it best "Tu fielding kyun kar rahaa hai. Tujhe Tendulkar banana hai, Kaif nahi".



6. Too much administration - The positioning of fielders, the change of bowlers, fielders during over change (how about just moving the batsmen around), the run-up, the hush-hush strategizing, the shining up of ball, the weather, the pitch - all makes the games too complicated. Compared to all the faffing about, the actual play-time is extremely less. So, to have played cricket means, you have actually not played much.



Let me add that I have played cricket and enjoyed playing. Friends will vouch for the fact that I was not bad.


My problem is with the importance that it gets and were it less popular with the masses, I would be even fond of the game.

Luller the better

A lull in work invariably means the scribbler is me goes into a deep sense of ennui.
It's good to be back in familiar surroundings, and though the campus here could easily be a lot superior, it is absolutely miles ahead compared to the dump that I worked in Norwich. More youth and less grey around sometimes makes me think I am in college. It is great for the bonhomie, the weekend activities and in general to keep the spirits alive in the otherwise drab office-space.

However, I am not sure, how much it contributes in terms of general sensitivity towards the deliverables, maintaining the quality of code. The understanding that someone high up in the business ladder is probably going to use your reports and they better be elegant and efficient, is hard to drill into someone who is just out of college. And certainly if we want to be big consulting players, we need to have more experienced guy doing design and even development. I wrote about it earlier here.


Anyway, have been busy otherwise, what with the holidays and all the shopping for the big day. Thankfully the saree buying didn't take too long (a day for 3 sarees is not bad at all).


So much here, we just take for granted, that it's great to be away and come back with a different perspective. I would always find Dadar such a crowded place. But yesterday, it struck me that if I can't find anything in that 2 sq km area, I won't find anywhere else in Bombay. The salesmanship in the saree shop is just awesome. They unravel saree after saree, so that our extremely picky Indian women can wrinkle their noses at all of them. The saree shop is one for their glorious tantrums and I understand why men just are terrified going saree shopping. Yet the salesmen were very accomodating and all willing to pander to the whims and fancies of the unfair sex. Their dexterity with languages and knowledge of the job has you awestruck.
Then onto shoes and some veggies and good Goan food at Gomantak.


With important events on the near horizon, I wish, the lull get luller.

Bake for good

Am back to my matrubhoomi. I always land here and instantly feel at home. The pollution and the heat doesn't 'hit' you, because it's as if you never left.


It's not as if I dislike the noise, dug-up roads and the haphazard 'development'.


But who says homes have to be beautiful places?

Funny ad

Not missing, probably dead

Link here. More Rang De Basanti.


MiG trainer aircraft crashes in Rajasthan: 2 pilots missing




BARMER (Rajasthan): A trainer version of MiG-21 fighter aircraft crashed soon after getting airborne from Uttarlai airbase on Tuesday with both pilots reported missing so far.



"The aircraft crashed near Uttarlai village in Barmer district at 1535 hours," an IAF spokesman said in New Delhi adding the plane, which was on a routine flying-training mission, crashed soon after getting airborne.



"Both the pilots of the aircraft are missing and their fate still unknown", the spokesman said adding air rescue missions had been launched to trace them. A team of flight safety officials from Air Headquarters had rushed to the spot.



The IAF has ordered a court of inquiry to find out the cause of the accident. The ill-fated aircraft was one of the older versions which are progressively being phased out.

Captain Chapter

I have an instant distrust of people who are called (want to be called) by some phony titles, no longer valid in current occupation. May be, there is genuine respect for them, but I find it all too dubious. Esp, the hypocorism (Wordweb rules) of Captain.



There was a Captain in my earlier job, responsible for everything and nothing. He was supposedly some navy ex and hence the epithet. He would walk around with a swagger, talk in a loud authoritative pitch and generally bully everyone in his team. I think he was head of IT support and also organiser of quiz club, nature club, sports club, but I am not sure. Because, every time I contacted him for any related activities ("why no activity on the quiz club?" "Are there any tennis players in the club?"), I never got a decent response. All the clubs were effectively dead and he peddled proper official activities as being organized by these clubs. There was an family event once, where all of the family were invited, except siblings older than 12 years. It was a totally ridiculous rule and I questioned him about it. No reply.



Another Captain that I know (same job) may not be as wretched, but still I am very suspicious. Captain Vinod Nair is the founder of Arts and conducts soft skills training courses for many big corporate companies. His career, the way he described it, spelt like collection of huge accomplishments. Ex-army commando, was shot twice, quit because of leg injury, was in some top position at Pritish Nandy communication, bragged that Bill Gates, Narayan Murthy wrote on ARTS website. There were some other 'golis' that he kept pelting us with.



I attended his training session and taken in totality (considering his age and his achievements), it didn't tie up. Also the training wasn't that great. Other folks like it, but he never stuck to the agenda. The session was on Team building and he cramped in some unrelated case studies related to an commando operation. Probably, just as justification to his army career. Throughout the training, I thought, he was giving golis, than teaching us anything of import.



Anyway, now I read this and I am convinced that he is a fraud. Who but bogus Godmen and quick-fixers go around telling people that "I can cure anyone spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally.” Without having a degree in medicine or psychology! Yes, the guy is a fitness freak, but who amongst the Beautiful People isn't. And that shoudn't be a criteria for instant trust anyway.

And then, he succeeds in finding more mileage - by weaving his web of lies around neo-celebrity, Tulip Joshi. Lucky to find an accomplice, so early in life. Bunty aur Babli in the making!!



Go duping, Captain!



Crickettt goes berserk. Calls me names. Boo hoo hoo. I am even unhappier than before.

His verbatim rebuttal here (and only because he is less offensive in this comment).


crikettt said...
Just spoke to captain about your blog.



He chose to ignore it, he didnt even want to know the url (he is obviously above mud slinging).



His site is very much on, it is www.capttain.com.



NM, ambanis and shah rukh are very close to him - start reading the papers, he is all over with them-read wahat they have to say about him. Watch TV and see waht shekhar suman says about him. His recent presentation to bill clinton at vikram chatwal's wedding is also well known. .



Have u adopted children? have u been on the front line in service of your nation?.



I was once a frustrated lonely guy till I had a chat with him. He has never been too busy or to hoity toity, always has time and always ready to help..



As for your coments on accenture, your entire blog is a collection of cribs from a very unhappy and unaccopmlished person..



I am a very proud Indian but I feel sad that when one amongst us rises above through sheer grit and intelligence. 10 others are there just waiting to shred him. .



Is it that difficult to be happy for others and be happy yourself?.



Please dont malign a war hero and a gentleman who you dont even know - thats a genuine request, it just leaves a very bad taste.


I think, really, it would be best for you to ignore the blog like Captain Nair. If he continues to do sensible things like ignoring rabble rousers like me, then in time, he will never have any rabble rousers like me. Because all of us would be converts. Like you.


Right now, he is too good to be true (for everyone's benefits, the stutisumans are here and this blog will remain a checkpoint (esp. for me )to ascertain if I read the guy correctly or indeed, if it is another one of my accomplised failures.



P.S - COMMENTS HAVE BEEN CLOSED ON THIS BLOG-POST. NO NEW COMMENTS WILL BE PUBLISHED.

Cell phone jam

I have been irritated so many times, in the cinema, by mobile owners. Either it is the loud ring-tones or plain lack of etiquette. It hasn't happened so much here as in India. Partly because the message 'Switch off your cell phone' is repeated so many times before the movie. In fact Orange ads featuring such messages are laugh out loud funny, and looks like they work.
In India on the other hand, we still continue to be inconsiderate. Blame it on whatever -the ignorance of social mores, need to talk incessantly, or just showing off the latest gadgets.
So, the theater owners should just go ahead and buy a cell-phone jammer. I don't think there is any law NOT to jam cell-phones in a cinema-hall. So it won't be illegal at all. Anyway, where there is law, there is loophole. So, why not use a loophole for good.

Bring on more Deepens

A memorable birthday. No party, no cake cutting, no new clothes. But I was able to swim the full length of pool - 50 meters. Swam full distance back and forth about 4 times.
The fear is gone.


Now, just need to concentrate on honing the technique. Will get there.

Rang De Basanti - notes

Saw Rang De Basanti twice on Sunday. Once at a ungodly hour in the morning. Second time with friends. Whatever I say will sound trite. So, just some notes



1. Awesome locales - the best of India on display


2. Great song picturisation - Three choreographers and still no sync dancing. It's laid-back freestyle moves all the way - oozing cool. Also this aids in keeping the songs in background and using it as a recurring motif rather than a show-stopper.


3. OK camerawork- the camerawork oscillates from brilliant to tacky. The slow-mo during the chase sequences as well as the demonstration at India Gate was just too jarring. How about ultra slow-motion embraced in Planet Earth?


4. Horrible sfx - the shots of flying MIGs fall flat like the MIGs themselves


5. Refined story-telling - The documentary, the flash back through Mckingley's diary and present day events are intelligently intertwined. And it all makes such perfect sense in the end.


6. Killer dialogues - Not one character mouths English without reason. Characters are pleasantly rustic and stick to their dialects. Even Sue speaks flawless Hindi most of the time. It's a lesson for Hindi film-makers about how to use Hindi to further the film's message and allow it to reach a wider audience. After all, 99% of the cine-goers will be familiar with Hindi, so why make concessions for the elite audience?


7. Outstanding Ensemble cast - Siddharth didn't impress me much in spite of getting loads of screen-time. His voice lets him down badly. More style than substance. Rest of the friends cast is top notch. Even Alice Patten plays her part with gusto.


8. Just right emotional tug - Emotions are strength of Hindi films, but almost always, we tend to overdo it. For me atleast, RDB tends to get it right (or was I crying because it was too early in the morning to watch the film?).


The transformation of the guys was believable and I was sympathetic of their actions. The way it was portrayed, it didn't sound far fetched. Probably, that owes to a credible and nimble script.


Amazing that three most important contributors to the film (dir, lyr, and music dir) come from advertising. Is there a lesson there?


I would watch out for Rakeysh Mehra, just for his note-worthy propensity to push his art technically as well as content-wise

Spectacular Prizm

News from HT


A 100 medical graduates were commissioned into the armed forces medical services at a passing out parade held at the Armed Forces Medical College in Pune on Monday Surg Lt. Commander Wahida Prizm (in the picture) became the first woman ever to command a passing out parade in the history of the Indian armed forces medical services Wahida hails from Rajouri district in Jammu & Kashmir and is a graduate MBBS from Jammu Medical College. Her father, who was a government teacher, was gunned down by militants in 2001

Mein paani mein shira, phir poha, phir dubya

A few years ago, I had learnt to swim a bit, but as soon as I resumed swimming here, I realised, how bad I was at it. I couldn't float for more than 10 feet, I didn't know how to breathe, my limb movements were extremely awkward. I was trying free style and it's difficult to get your breathing in sync (inhaling for just a split second) when your head is sideways for a split second. All in all, I was struggling.



However, over a period of time, it has improved considerably. I am stretching my arms well, kicking just at right intervals. The breathing is still not adequate and rhythmic and I struggle after about 25 meters (middle of the pool) because of the lack of breath. So much of swimming is counter-intuitive and you constantly have to unlearn/ignore your natural instincts. Fortunately, there are good folk, who having mercy on my violently splashing soul and give me some good advice. Earlier I was so uncomfortable with my head under water, that I would constantly stop and press my eyes to allow all the water to drip off. Seeing this, a guy said (almost barked),"Well, there's no chlorine. You can keep your eyes open in water, you know". That was a revelation. Because, I always swam with my eyes closed. And since my right arm was stronger, I would inadvertently set off across lanes. You can certainly keep your eyes open in water - though its all a blur for me coz of myopic vision.


Another lesson was how and when to get your head out for breathing (sideways and at every third stroke). I haven't managed this well as yet, but the funda is there. I also now know how to drop the head back in, without getting a stinging sensation up your nose and without giving your ears a waterful.


Meanwhile, have also learnt the breast stroke, which is supposed to be easiet. One just has to look at the old ladies, just gliding in pool, chatting away. All the time their heads are out of the water. Whereas I do, the technically correct, but more tiring and right now more exhausting version of the stroke - dunk your head in, kick your legs out in a V, spread your hands and get your head out to breathe. It's easier than free-style, because you can breathe all the time, but still, its been an extremely arduous exercise for me.


Yesterday, decided to go to the deep end of the pool (about 8 feet deep). As always, stopped mid-way of the pool. Took a gulp of air, made a resolve and took off with the breast stroke. It's scary when you know you may not reach the other end. So, was struggling to find the edge. After what seemed to be long time, reached the end of the pool. The deep end. You just have a hollow along the wall to hold on to, nothing to else to steady your legs on, though. All life had drained off my limbs, just thinking of the fact that I won't be able to make it back to the middle of the pool (where the feet touch the bottom of the pool). Still, I steeled my mind and pushed off the wall. Soon, I was sinking. This triggers a response to flail about more wildly. I was just doing that. And sinking further. I was not going to be able to make it and reached towards the lane rope. Fortunately, it was close (as I swim next to it) and I grabbed onto it. I had just swum for 10 meters. I gulped in as much air I could, and hanging onto the rope, moved towards the other 15 meters or so. It was an ordeal.


As I can't see well, I don't know if the rest of the swimmers were smirking and shaking their heads in ridicule.


Tomorrow I will try again.

Nahi Chalta Hai - Part II

Eve teasing and sexual abuse are as much part of the Indian culture as caste system, family ties and arranged marriages. Read this

When found in a similar situation as not a victim, but a witness, most of us are going to say "Well, its the woman's fault". Thoda sa haath lagayaa to kyaa hua?". But, when it comes to outraging a woman's modesty, there is no act small, grey, or excusable. We should tolerate none of it.


Depravity is at the heart of this menace, which perpetually threatens freedom of women and their ability to live as equal citizens. Holding hands is an offence, so forget showing physical affection towards your partner in public. That is against our sanskriti and aachar. What does it lead to? All these pent up feelings, which manifest in a most disgusting form.

There are thousands of perverts out there, who can't abuse their wives and daughters, because they stay in cities away from the family. They are prowling the streets, trains, buses, hunting for a hapless victim. A victim of the society, where it is ok for men to rub you the wrong way, but outrageous to fight against the abuse.



Link through IndiaUncut


More of interest

Googler woogler

I would count myself lucky to be ever offered a job by Google. I have been in awe of their recruitment strategy and found terribly wanting while trying to crack their puzzles.


Google is known to recruit only PhDs or stalwarts and this list sort of tells you why it can stake claim to further greatness.


Add to the fact that they allow 1 day per week for personal work/research to all their employees , not to forget great food.

Finding Meebo

Have just come across meebo. A website which allows access to all well-known messengers - aim, yahoo, msn. The screen is simple and quite easy to use.


My friends have concerns around security, as the service is not well-known. However, the creators whose bios are in the about us section look to be decent and smart blokes, so would want to trust the site.


Go on, give it a try.



P.S. Amish gets so mad at my recommendation of Meebo, that he starts calling it weebo and he writes a strong rejoinder in the comments section.


Here is the full text


Why do you need weebo? I say you dont!



1) You might want weebo if your company is blocking chat. But soon your administrator will come to know about it and its not at all tough to block weebo. Plus you are not following company policies. You might say that its your right but companies have security concerns.(its off topic to discuss why)



2) You might want weebo to bring all 4 leading IM services together under one window. BUT why do you need it when you have faster and better clients like trillian,gaim doing that job.



Disadvantages of weebo:


a) All traffic goes via weebo. So no matter what-so-ever their privacy agreement says:



i) weebo can steal your ID/password if it wants (I believe in DO NOT trust principle on internet. Only Yahoo should know my Yahoo password, only MSN should know my MSN password and so on)



ii)) Weebo can even record and see your coversations no matter what!



b) traffic is all over HTTP taking more bandwidth



c) no support for file transfer, webcam, voice. Webcam and voice support is next to impossible on HTTP unless they use applet or activex. But why do u want to complicate the things?



You can use trillian or gaim safely because gaim is open source and plus IM traffic goes directly to the related servers NOT via third party.

AM.

Title Chor

Mumbai Mirror has plagiarized (link my cease to work) the title for my blog entry yesterday. Though for a less appropriate news article, methinks.



Should I sue them for 51 crores and 4 rupees?



Anyway, it's the season to shower the TOI camp with law suits

Next Net

An excellent article about the future Tsars on the Net. Haven't read through it all, but some of the sites will surely enter my favorites list, presto.


Link via Gigaom

Phone Bhoot

(Click pic to enlarge)


Probably, you might have received this scary forward through mails, but it's worth putting it on my blog, a compendium of all things scary - including YT.

Manjunath Shanmugan Trust

I thought it would not be of much signifance if I link to this, as it's not as if I am the Instapundit of India, having scores and scores of followers. But, soon I realised, its really a no-brainer. A single citizen like Manjunath can stand up for what's right and die for it. So, can't I... i, make any difference?

What we need to ensure is that the lone honest voice of righteous individual resonates as long as there are just scattered lone voices like Manjunath or Satyendra Dubey


Justice is not served, and it's because, we let it not being served. We think, oh well, how does it concern us? But we probably do not realise that Manjunath's work or Satyendra's expose of corruption (in Highway contracting) directly impacted and benefited us as consumers and also as citizens.


It's time to stand up and be counted, however insignificant you may feel your contribution is. To that effect, i have also donated to the trust.

If the cause concerns you, please contribute in whatever way possible.


More bytes here

Cycle ride - no seating

A prize of 51 crore and 3 rupees to anyone who retrieves my bike-seat.


The seat of my beautiful cycle (and hence my power-ride) has been stolen. Two kids aged 12-14 years were standing (one of them smoking) furtively near the swimming pool yesterday, from where the heist occured. The kid-smoker has red bruise marks on his right cheeks.


I know the probability of someone finding the seat is extremely low, still criminals must be brought to book. Justice must be served. Law must take its own course, riding on a cycle with a seat.


Find him and I will take care of the guy's left cheek.

Zaphod Triplebrox

This is just hilarious. A womonster with 3 heads stalking in Navi Mumbai. May be she a was just carrying her tiny baby fiends on her shoulders, in the night.


I hope the woman takes a train to Mumbai and terrorizes all the citizens.



"Knock, knock?


"m*^&£"%, Who's there???"


"Chandalini"


"Chandalini who?"


"Chandalini with three heads.Hehehahahahaaa!!"

Pandey, you know what's a rhino?

I am annoucing 51 crore and 1 rupee, for anyone who captures Ashok Pandey and puts him in cage with a horny rhinocerous - a rhino who knows that he doesn't have a mate in sight for the rest of life.

Broadbandits have rights too!

Had a really bad weekend. Part of the reason was that the broadband we were using was disconnected abruptly without notice. So, what if we were piggbacking on someone else's connection, they should have informed us, about cutting us off from www. Now, does the government get rid of the encroachments on its land, without giving the hut-dwellers prior notice? No, they dont!! That is against the law. Ditto here.

It would have been better if broadband-owner was more sensitive and had come to us and said "Guys, thank you for deigning to use my broadband connection. The bit packets that you have sent and received, passed through my home, thus consecrating it like never before.

"However, my broadband has slowed, what with some really humongous downloads - in I sure all for educational purposes - that you have made. Even, the google search webpage is not loading and that is driving my poodle crazy. She is plastering dribble all over the monitor, the house and its occupants. The monitor has developed rashes - an allergic reaction to dog-saliva.

"Yesterday, Camilla (the poodle) ripped a tyre off my car and wrapped herself around the rim. Clearly, it was a suicide attempt.


"I need decent connection so my noodle.. I mean poddle, can google for whatever she wants to google for. She isn't too adept at using the keyboard and hits the paws button a little too often. We are trying to get her enrolled in a program 'Master the keyboard in 7 dog-days'. We are googling for guidance on that as well.


"Sorry, I can't be of service to you, but I hope you can sympthatise with the vexations of a dog-owner".


But he didnt!!


Fortunately, there has been divine intervention and the broadband connection has drifted back to our holy abode. Joy be to the World!!

Tu bolta kyun nahi, re?

Another in my infamous character sketches about He Who Does Not Talk

I cannot over-emphasize how important communication is, in the IT industry, what with Indian companies working almost exclusively for foreign clients. The issue has been taken up and there are periodic soft-skills training courses. However, some guys are able to escape the training sessions altogether, through some ridiculous excuses and continue to operate in the IT world brazenly, inspite of their mediocre to abs. pathetic comm skills.


Today, however, I am going to talk about a guy, who is above any censure. Not because he is master of the spoken word, but because talk he doesn't. Not even little. No, not teeny weeny bit. Not even mono-syllablic. He just nods. And nods (to show agreement). Never yods (to show disagreement).


Least you think, I am insensitive, inconsiderate victimizer of the disabled, hang on! (I may be, but what I write atleast shouldn't bear out that conclusion). No, the guy can talk. He does say things like 'Hi', 'What's the score?', 'Chalo'. But all these words have to make a gruelling effort coming out of the rather dark black holesque larynx.


Now, if the guy was a developer or in a support project, it would not have been a matter of concern. But he is a Tech Lead, holy Zarquon! In a project, that it fraught with major issues, swooshing deadlines, and more change requests than a bus conductor can handle, its a crime to be a passive spectator. But, in the midst of a bloody warzone, he sits unhassled, untroubled, unconcerned - with a benign smile (no teeth, least a word might escape) like an omniscient Buddist monk.


If there are issues, he doesn't get blamed. People aren't aware that they have a monk in their midst (poetic am I), if they are, they don't know what his role is (senior monk) and if they know his role, they know all about his dignified, sombre and quiet nature (A consummate senior monk), so never go near the Bodhi tree. In the Business As Usual scenario, well - no one wants to seek enlightenment, unless something's drastically wrong, do they?


Life in Indian software industry has thought me that, even if you are a net-zero or even negative contributer to the team, you can survive and indeed thrive. Am I getting cynical or what!


I must admit, it has been the first project, with more than 20 people in the team. But still the concentration of the samples just scares me.


Probably some meditating under the Bodhi tree will calm my disturbed mind.

Cheez Kisne Hataya

I am all for more media output in regional languages. This warms the murgles of my heart. Just like when I heard that Bihari junta has disowned the ultra chic, yet fantastically alien products churned by Bollywood for something closer home.



So, more Shwaas', Dombivli Fasts, please. And certainly more written material in YOUR language.


I will one day write in my language. Cheez koni halavile.

Write stuff

Javed Akhtar has hit the nail right on its head, when he has asked Mumbai University to produce scriptwriters (link may cease to work after some time). We have an chronic shortage of good writers (script writers as well as lyricists). Schooling in Hindi is going out of fashion and so situation can only get worse. Atleast in music, the gap is being filled by Pakistani singers and poets. But the stories and dialogues in the films are suffering due to the lack of decent script writers.


The situation needs to be addressed right away. Or outsource writing jobs to Pakistanis.


My earlier notes on this are here

Tunes in my head

Rang De Basanti - Well, fine, some people may not that this album is a classic. I am just making up for the fact that I am not able to soak in the RDB-redolent atmosphere back home, by listening to the tunes.


Have been hooking on to a wireless broadband connection drifting into my pad, unknowing to its unwitting owner and downloading a whole lot of tunes. Just a list for posterity


1. Rubaroo - It will be classic. Hummable and singable in totality (unlike many Rahman hits)


2. Dido - Perennial favorites - Life for Rent and White Flag. I sing along and imagine myself a great husky singer. If someone asks me to give me live performance, you know what I will bray.


3. Breathe - By Telepopmusik - The car commercial gave me a fleeting intro about this tune. Have downloaded and quite like it.


4. Aadat - Good lyrics is what carries this song. The strength when any Paki is involved in a tune.


5. Jiya Dhadak dhadak - Another Kalyug entry. As I listen to another great melody with Pakistani stamp of soulfulness, I am more embarassed of the trash that Bollywood (lead by the foul remix camp) has been generating for a long time now


Have hated Jhalak Dhiklaga. Sorry Vinayak.:-)

Castrate all of them

What the fuck is this?

Rang De Basanti

I was finally able to get the songs of Rang De Basanti downloaded. Being away from the country, also keeps you insulated from the latest buzzing trends, happenings, media focus out there. One might think that, thanks to the internet, you are aware of the important news, the hottest tunes, the latest releases and the juiciest gossip. Well, the distance sort of leads to a disconnect wherein, some of the news just doesn't reach here. Even if you have cable here (I don't), they don't show the latest trailers and you have no clue what sort of movies or song are 'in' at the moment.
I knew Rang De Basanti was creating a bit of a scandal since before it release and have been closely following the news, reviews, interviews and box office report. I must admit, that I can't wait to see the movie.


Yet, I am ashamed to discover the soundtrack so late. I can't say it is mind blowing, but the goodies are just awesome. Again, I don't know what's the buzz there in India, but I can confidently say that Rubaru is a classic. For its simplicity, catchiness and youthfulness, it will remain entrenched within mainstream youth culture of this generation. The simple lyrics just blow you away - why hasn't anyone used the kind of imagery that Prasoon Joshi has? Pathshala again embodies the defiance of today's youth in a frothy, fresh lingo. Loved the Oh, Oy!! Oh, Oy!! bit in the remix. Blaaze and Mohammad Aslam have been doing the rap act for Rahman for sometime now (Love Birds, being the first?) and they are justifiably good at the English, rap bit.
Tum Bin Bataye is a haunting melody that stays with you in spite of the awkward lyrics. Madhushree sounds like Alka Yagnik at her peak. Good, silken vocals take command over the tune beautifully.


Aamir Khan in Lalkaar sounds so different from Siddhu of Kya Bolti Tu. Well, true that he is chanting rather than sn't singing, but still, the voice of Lalkaar demands attention and threatens rebellion. Very good chorus arrangement on this one - the chorus starts one stanza after Aamir and towards the end of the song, both are marching along menacingly in harmony.


Rang De Basanti, the title song, is again a great bhangra number. Daler Mehndi is top notch. The chorus is what has me hooked to the song. This is second Rahman song, with Rang De Basanti in it - first being in Legend of Bhagat Singh.


Haven't been able to download Lukachuppi, but only thing I dread is Lata Mangeshkar's shrill old vocals. But, the man who can make a frog sing in tune, can sure iron out any blemishes in the songstress's performance.


Again, some pathological ignoramuses have gone ahead and said "I don't find anything special with the music". That too, to a Rahmaniac.


Thank God, they didn't unfairly accuse him of repetitiveness. Again.




PS - Lukachuppi is now on my laptop. I won't know how it was picturized(I am guessing, it plays at the time of Madhavan's death). However, yes, as Gaurav pointed out in the comments, it is a touching song. I like the way a mother-son dialogue is woven into the song.

The song starts with the mother beseeching the son to come home. Its getting too late and she misses him terribly. The son recounts how happy he is under the open skies, flying around and discovering new things. But by the end of the second antara, the son is telling her, inspite of all the pleasures in the whole wide world, he is still saddened by her absence. Jaltarang and guitar at the start and tabla, harmonioum towards the end, support and embellish the song, just so. Nice.

Airport chaos

One of my friends is heading back to India today. I told him "You need to stay maximum 5 minutes in the Mumbai aiport". Why? Because, he and his wife may die of the stench if they stay any longer.


Its incredible that the Left has allowed its unions to run riot and disrupt the normal functioning of the aiport so terribly . One can understand peaceful protests and demonstrations, but by actively blocking off electricity and water supply and hiding away the trolleys, the protests have gone too far. The Central Government should get such people arrested and ensure that there are enough security personnel (are they IAA employees as well?; in that case, home guards will do) and police manning the airports. This should be treated like a localized emergency and the immediate issues should be addressed.


The few airports that I have visited around the world, Mumbai airport is by far the worst. Even Luton, which is an international airport (for planes flying to tourist destinations in Europe) in a tiny village in English countryside, is far superior to Mumbai. This is not official airport rating site, but still, quite reliable and look what it says.


But I also totaly agree with Dilip. When you have a rehaul or a change being implemented, we need to be careful about educating the involved and affected parties about the change. It could be viewed as a threat of livelihood by them, as in this case, and the employees won't take it lying down. Even here, many employees view the Indian IT companies as a threat and unfortunately, things like orientation about offshoring, role change, team dynamics etc. are not explained to the existing employees. That increases their insecurity about the whole outsourcing phenomenon.


Anyway, so, government and the new management should ensure that they talk to the employees and try to address their concerns. This is good news. If the unions are still unwilling to listen, then go ahead and take action against the trouble-mongers.

Dressed to Thrill

Today, one of the employees (client side) was dressed in extremely attractive outfit. It was cream colored one-piece skirt with angled thick black stripes. The stripes tapered away from her hips, where the skirt itself made a dramatic X, accentuating her fabulous curves. The skirt stopped just short of the knees. The moment you looked at her, your heart stopped, the moment froze and everything around her just went mute and out-of-focus. Just her and her divine beauty.


Actually, the female works in another project, so don't interact with her much. She is an ice-maiden type, doesn't smile a lot, is too aware of her beauty and generally ignores your presence around her. That sort of has put me off her(as if).


Inspite of that, considerable time was spent drooling over her today. Her whole persona was phenomenally attention grabbing, and I happened to make keen mental notes of it. Honestly, I wasn't being a lecherous wolf. Just a man.


Now, you would think, that with women being liberal and all that, it would be eye-candy in the office here all the time. But actually, it is almost as drab as female dressing is in India. However, there are quite a lot of them who are willing to experiment. There are no wailing kids in diapers to attend to, school runs to make or lunch boxes to prepare for most of them. So, obviously, they have loads of time and money to spend on themselves. Expensive designer clothes are bought and quite a lot of time spent grooming herselves.The cleavage is exposed and a bit of moistured skin is revealed and it all livens up the proceedings. Takes one's attention away from the humdrum of workplace. Most men, being blase, don't start mentally undressing a woman like most repressed desis do. So, its not disconcerting for women to dress the way they do.


All said it's just a pleasure to have women around who are aware of their sexuality. Overtly sexy attire may cause problem and certainly I won't encourage that. (haha!). But women wield power over men and to exercise and hone the power through just enough grooming (I don't even demand a lipstick) and through aesthetic dressing, is not politically incorrect to ask for. Sometimes, women just don't pay attention to themselves and clothes they wear and its such a dampner to see opportunity blown away.


I understand men should be doing the same - grooming up a bit and wear decent clothes, but still men have limitations in terms of how much time they can possibly waste on their ugly selves. It's just exercise in futility doing up what is essentially a crappy piece of creation.


I would certainly like Indian women, being more bold in their dressing. Women have such a vareity to choose in terms of color and the style and they should exploit the choice they have and experiment a bit more. The saree for example is not a garment for only special occasions. As long as it is not an issue travelling (saree is a hazard, if you use the train), women should try it often. Also skirts. Not the gypsy kind please.


You can of course, always fall back on the punjabi dress in all its myriad forms, but then can we have less of tents and more of well-fitting stuff? And can we bury the sameness?


With better awareness and increased exposure to good clothes, the degree of comfortableness should also increase. Women wearing trendy stuff would be less ogled at. It also gives them a chance to assert their identity and feel good about themselves. I know it is difficult, but we need to strike a balance between total fashion subservience and annoying ignorance of the feminine self.

How I got news for me!

Since I am in the UK, my access to newspapers and magazines is quite limited. Earlier, atleast I would have the Sun regularly, coz the cafe in Amex was huge and you were confident that someone would leave their Sun (or Daily Express) behind. For those who don't know, they are a must see rather than a must read.


Its not that that's only the kind of news is what appeals me. For the record, I would never buy the Sun. We do buy the weekend Guardian or Sunday Telegraph. Guardian has been a strong favorite, but since it has goe Berliner, it seems to have lost its charm. I am no longer set on buying only the Guardian.


Back to why I started this blog entry. Well, in spite of my limited touch with newspapers and the like, I have found that for real analysis and interpretation of any news, I am relying more and more on blogs. Of course, you can't trust them all, but with prolong experience trawling the blogsphere, one comes to accumulate the gleaming specks of diamonds out there - My favorites list is continuously growing.


Generally each blog has a theme and the kind of insight some bloggers bring into that topic is phenomenal. Watch Dilip D'souza expound ever so beautifully and subtly about issues that plague the urban (and sometimes not so) lives. Read the complete outsider, Vikrum's interpretation of various facets of Indian-ness. His open mindedness and inquisitiveness always has me in awe. Read George Thomas for opinionated (and totally his) reviews about latest movies that he has watched back to back to back. Jai for book reviews. Somehow, Slashdot and wired also classify as a blog and both are just full of new info about the digital world.

There are umpteen mad blogs out there as well, which will have you rolling in your cubicles.


There are mighty more out and so many that I revered have fallen by my wayside as I discover better ones.
Juxtopose these against the news portal out there. Mumbai Mirror, Indian Express, rediff, Hindustan Times, all of them supply news, but the edits, research articles or general analysis columns are somehow not easily available. That makes the available e-news material so dull and insipid. Web provides a great oppputinity to link a new item to another, thus taking the reader through all possible related news and educating him about the topic in a far superior manner to a folded sheet. CNet has a great tool exploiting this, but most news site, just do a subset of the printed work and post it online.


Outlook and Business World (has gone typically subscriptional) are only two Indian news sites, which augment the pulp material with great noteworthy and meaningful stuff online. Given the slight non-reliability of information pouring out of blogger qwertys, it would be great to have more propah news groups publishing informative stuff online.

Publishing problems

Have been trying to get my earlier post published for about 2 days now. My client is an impoverished organization constantly cost cutting and providing extremely frugal resources to its employees (you can rest insured).


I can't publish my blogs from office and at home I exploiting aol as much as I can (I can be skin-flint as well). So, it times out at home as well on a few occasions.


In this publishing melee, somehow, my blog got published with some weird text. I don't remember writing the last few lines in my blog. I promptly corrected it and republished.


Any guesses why it happened?


The weird text is here


Somehow, Slashdot and wired also classify as a blog and both are just full of new info about the digital woreach blank page with a finished page. Even though the first draft was wretched, with every consecutive editing, the "slug tape" would be removed and replaced with better footage. Soon it gets hard to tell which parts are the slug tape that needs to be swapped out. Writing is like editing with slug tape. Then again, writing is also like hitting your head against a wall—it feels good when you stop!slug tape that needs to be swapped out. Writing is like editing with slug tape. Then again, writing is also like hitting your head against a wall—it feels good when you stop!

The best blonde joke ever

You will die laughing. Just read this joke

Shor off karo, please!!

A silent war is simmering beneath the surface in the IT world. You hear about it through whispers, grapevine and through canteen discussions. But it somehow doesn't make it to the list of open issues that plague the Indian software professional. I am talking about the Big Wide Onsite Offshore Divide.


Each party thinks of the other as the bona-fide enemy. It is not just that "This XYZ person is not doing the job well". Its that "Offshore is moron". It's "Onsite is lazy". Depending on which site of the ocean you are, you get clubbed (with a big one) and branded (the club has metal embossing) into a category.


Sometimes there are things that naturally come to each group, just coz of the location and the kind of work.


At offshore, you tend to come late ( around 10 am), stay late, gossip around a lot. At offshore, you are punctual, coz the firangs expect you to be there by 9 am. But then, you never stay beyond 6 pm. At offshore, you could never dream of scheduling a meeting at 9 am. Onsite, you are not expected to do coding, so sometimes, you have some really incompetent people sitting there and dictating terms about design and development to far more qualified people at offshore. With the time difference as well, offshore needs to sweating longer hours to support the nawabs in cooler climes.


Thus, requiring to pander to the w and f of onsite, especially when, the perks of staying onsite ( read salary in $ or £) are tremendous, offshore is very resentful of the onsite folks. Everyone wants to come onsite, capable or not. No coding to do, give orders to onsite, earn big mullah, put client interaction in bold on resume - the advantages are too many to resist.


But its not an easy thing to handle - being onsite. We, desis, are good at logic and all that, and that makes us good developers/coders. However, our education system is not geared for optimal social skills. English being our second language, talking in English to resolve an issue or conflict, or clarify a requirement is quite a daunting task for us. I constantly see people doing what they are not naturally capable of doing. Issues pile on, and wrong requirements and taken down. But these are soft problems - something that isn't obvious, through statistical analysis of project metric data. Though there are soft-skills courses for conversation skills, conflict resolution, negotiation skills etc, how does one bring out the importance of a skill learnt over a life-time and and only through cultural exposure, in a few hours of training. Just as a case in point, how many Indian managers you know use humour to diffuse a tense situation. Anda.


So, you might be a great techie, but that doesn't validate your claim to onsite. There are many incapable guys are onsite, but we don't need equally verbally-challenged people.


Meanwhile, guys at onsite, should understand, what their primary responsibility is. Learn to talk, handle and manage people well. Talk to client as if you are talking to a friend and not reading an essay. There are some totally insane guys here, who might as well have been ploughing fields with bullocks in UP.


Also, onsite should understand that coding is not something to run away from. Respect the developer for his skills and try to make things easier for him/her. Know your domain well. Get your hands dirty in development, or you will never be convincing enough, in front of the client or offshore team.


And for God's sake, both of you stop fighting. :-))

Maxim us, maxim me

Damn, I would have immediately dropped my Sun and jumped at this
one


Pity, the launch is in India and I can't lay my hands on those two
luscious...covers.

Picture victure

Thanks to an inveterate movie buff as a roomie, have been catching loads of movie since the last couple of weeks.


Roman Polanski's Ninth Gate, is a total disgrace. Some movie directors have just made this fat name for themselves, that they and the movie studios can peddle any trash in their name (like Dan Brown the author). I have caught The Pianist which is a decent movie, but Ninth Gate is just a terrible piece of film-making. Johnny Depp is wasted.


Clockwork Orange is a film that I wanted to watch for a long time. It is provocative, without a doubt. Certainly, very innovative use of language with weird, wonderful characters. I think the acting by Malcolm McDowell is top notch. However, I wont call it the best movie I have ever seen. May be one needs a bit of back reading to be in the know of what the director is trying to convey through the gruesome and repulsive violence)


Had a relook at Batman Begins. It didnt strike me that Liam Neeson himself was Ra's Al Ghul until my roomie told me so. The animation series I have seen always had Ra's as a Chinese guy, hence I was easily fooled. But anyway, the DVD was without any good features (no inside info, director's cut, interviews, nothing), hence was a bit disappointed. My earlier post about Batman and Ra's is here


I was expecting a lot out of Mystic River. But I found it desparately trying to be award winning good cinema. The central idea of the movie is extremely unconvincing (spoiler follows) - that the two kids should kill Sean Penn's daughter in a ghastly manner. Also, if the kids have made her car suddenly swerve, shouldnt she be saying more than 'Hi' to them. Also, the episode during the childhood of the three friends is given just too much weightage - just to get a sombre tinge to all the proceedings. But really, (more spoilers) the abuse could have in no way have fundamentally affected the lives of the three men- just Tim Robbins' Dave


Sean Penn's acting is flawless and without a doubt, deserves an Oscar. I am not so much convinced about Tim Robbins. He just acts like a lunatic. Also, I don't quite get Clint Eastwood's fascination for slightly quirky characters, just for the sake of it. In Million Dollar Baby, he is into Gallic. Here, Kevin Bacon's wife calls him up all the time but doesn't talk on the phone. Hello!


Also, sometime back, I watched and very much liked Home Delivery. Now, some of friends have given my supari for recommending the movie to them. Hmmm, my brain. Something's up.

Up and down we go

Sort of having a tumultous time here. The micro design is just about to get over. And offshore is setting up environment. For good or bad, I am playing a central role in sending the datamodel, ddls, alter scripts. It was extremely hectic last week, when I had to jump out of train from York (went there on business meeting) after 6 hours of gruelling journey and come to office to deliver the latest ddls.


On top of that, we have some incorrigible resources, who do not learn to thing on their feet when something goes wrong. Just blame the other guy. So, with the massive reconciliation activity we are doing, there were issues and offshore put their hands up, saying we can't do anything, because there are some teeny weeny issues.


Anyway, after a lashing, things have fallen in place and after about 4 days, we are on the way to setting up an environment offshore. Now, we have to get the latest stuff from them and update our datamodels.


New project is kicking off and PM is not letting me go. I wanted to go Feb end to India but have been told that latest I can go is March end - when macro design of this new project is over. Seems a stretch now, but lets see. With the way things have been going with this account, I don't think anything substantial is going to happen by March. If it does, it surely will be worth posting here for recycling. And I think you will have to pay the buyer to get rid of the junk deliverables


For some reasons, however, it sort of makes it ok for me to stay till March. I am giving it a thought.

I just ran

A touching post by Dhammo about running the Mumbai Marathon for Manjunath.


Article in IE is here
and my aimless attempt last year is chronicled here

Teen Rajdhani Bhramanika

Extremely brief travelogue of our tour to Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. It was quite hectic as we covered 3 capitals in 4 days. As some one who has been to Paris will tell, Paris can't be covered in 2. But still wasn't there to really savor every bit of it, but just to have a glimpse. When I am visit these places later - with family, then I know very well, what to see and what to skip.


Paris is absolutely a must see. Everything about the place is overwhelming, over the top, grandiose. The neatly pave roads, the clinically cut trees, the magnificent gilded monuments, the expensive fashion stores - its like KingKong. But still its a lovely city, inspite of the French arrogance, the people are nice. And the Eiffel Tower is really huge!:-)


Brussels is skipable. I didn't have high expectations, after a guy in my earlier project (Belgium company) said that it was like Delhi. And yes, the city is quite plain and average. However, Grand P'alace is very grand and European Quarter will give you the buzz. But the rest is a let-down. The Manneken Pis (Pissing boy) a huge one. Never thought the most popular tourist attraction in Brussels would be so tiny and tacky.


I can see myself settling in Amsterdam, even if that is a remote possibility. No, the red light district is not the incentive I am after. The place is just beautiful, and truly has a warm endearing character. English is spoken on the streets, cyclists ride dangerously and have the right of way (Clap! clap! clap!), canals everywhere reflect the city lights at night. Yes, there are historical buildings as well, but its far better to just roam around the city and take in the sights and sounds.


It's just a fascinating place.

Nahi Chalta Hai.

In the last few years, I have become a huge fan of processes and systems. I sure sign that I am getting old. Normally, junta cribs that all this browbeating about quality and use of metrics, standard documents, reviews, checks, audits are just a big impediment in the actual delivery and rather than used to any genuine positive effect, are employed more by companies to get highly coveted labels like the CMM, PCMM, ISO, Six Sigma and the like.


I tend to disagree. The people who claim the processes are useless, are the ones that make them useless.


Anyway, what I really wanted to discuss was in terms of quality of deliverables and processes implemented to ensure optimal delivery, a company cannot move to best level without trial by fire. That is almost a given. You have to pass through Level 1, 2, 3 and 4 to get to Level 5.


I use the word company. But really, I want to make the point to compare how government and the establishment functions in the two countries - UK and India. In UK, as pointed out through an earlier example, things run pretty much close to CMM Level 5. In India, we are very close to go past CMM Level 1.


There are a number of factors and all true (India is a large country and there are many truths). These guys have the money. But to get to CMM5 is incredibly tough. CMM Level 5 says that you not only have to be the best, but you have to constantly keep improving. UK has great politicians (watch the extremely dignified, intelligent and witty debates in the House of Commons). A not so effective opposition right now, but a vocal backbenchers MPs from the govt itself, keep the PM and cabinet in check. Then there is the media (as good as in India). But main thing is the system is full of people, out there trying to make things happen, trying to better it for their lot, constantly improving.


So, on the roads, you find thick paint stripes, for every thing - no-parking zone, cycle path (is marked by green colour patch along the road), bus way, turn signs, cobbled pathways in city center or pedestrian zones. Along the roads, there is hardly any water logging. The pavement slopes gently at each intersection so that the disabled and the old have no trouble crossing. Very minor things, but which need deliberate thought and action


In fact, the emphasis here is on integrating every possible citizen into the mainstream. He should be able to freely move around, travel and work inspite of his/her handicap or age. That is why, you see so many old people whizzing around in disability scooters. What's more the disability law mandates all the banks/utility companies to send out mails in braille or in large letters in case the person poor eyesight. There are mikes at every counter in banks/railway stations. Just think about how old or disabled people have to live a life of confinement and desolation in India. Never able to leave the house, not getting heard and generally ignored all the time.


Probably, all this will come in India in a few years time. It will come with wealth. But right now it is important to get educated, smart and dedicated people in the government, in public sectoy. People who are not satisfied with CMM Level 1. People who are not ok with Chalta Hai attitude.


Nahi Chalta Hai!!

Ticket please

I have always harped about how it isn't so good here. Well, it's just that I am not objective at times. I am not going to talk about all the rosy things here, but just one. What the episode highlights, I will bring out later.


So, I was on a train to London on 23rd evening. I was on my way to Cardiff (Norwich-London-Cardiff 3 hours) to be at my cousin's place during Christmas holidays.


A tall, fat, ugly, black guy took a seat just on the other side of me. The TC was on his way soon and asked this guy for the ticket. The guy says, I bought the ticket, but lost it at KFC. The TC goes, OK, since you dont have the ticket, you have to pay up. Guy says, I don't have money. TC asks for his home number and address, so he can call and verify with someone if you really bought the tickets. The guy gives a phone number and address. TC goes away, comes back after 20 min and tells the guy there is no one at that number. The guy writes down the address again. The TC again finds no one there.


Basically, the guy is just playing around, he hasnt bought any ticket, doesn't want to pay up and still wants to go to London. The TC in all of this dealings, is calm and to the point. The black guy hassles him no end and shouts, screams and swears, is clearly lying, but TC won't come down to his level or start a slanging match.


Finally, TC warns him that he has to pay up or get down at Ipswich station. The guy cockily says "No, I wont get down". The TC warns him again. The guy is adamant. TC calls Ipswich station. "Ipswich, this is the ticket checker on the London train from Norwich. We have a passenger who needs to be taken off the train. The coach number is C. We will reach there in 5 minutes.


At Ipswich the stationmaster, an assistant and 2 policemen immediately gather around our coach. The guy has realised that his game is up. So, walks upto the door. But, now he has company. He is screaming and ranting, but there is only one place he will spend the night. Our train is off without any delay.


The TC comes to us and apologises for losing his cool. Hello, we told him, you did no wrong. You were a paragon of virtue. TC in India (we didnt tell him this) would probably have slapped and punched the guy (if not atleast caught him by scruff of his neck), the police would have gathered and saafed their haath, there would have been incredible commotion. Trains would have got delayed and everyone would complain and crib and have a jolly good time.


What is great is that for everytime the guy tried to play a trick, the TC just stuck by the book. For every excuse, TC followed the rules laid down to the T. When he found he had no option, he called for help. And he was sure, there would be support.


I don't want to generalize, but isn't it that we don't follow the laws or abide by the rules, or do our duty as a citizen because the system lets us down? Why would I wear a helmet, if the traffic police rides a bike bareheaded. Why would I want to register a complaint about an offending motorist, if the police will probably hassle me no end. These are small things, but basically make us cynical and bitter about the system.


Well, the episode, with many others shows you that in UK, the system works. You can proudly engage in the system and not worried about 'repurcussions'. You have issues, they will get addressed. You want to stick to your guns if you are right, you will get support. Only remember, not to abuse your power, coz there will have consequences for that too.

Lazy Bum

Have been extremely lazy in the past couple of weeks in making an entry here, what with the holidays (had to spend time with my kids and buy expensive gifts for my wife) and project micro design work. But lots has happened meanwhile that I want to write about. Important thing, I have been progressively losing my will to work in this place and right now, am in auto-pilot. I have touched upon my woeful plighthere and here.


Have already spoken to PM about sending me back- send me back, send me back, send me back for good. It shouldnt be a problem, coz in the worst case scenario, I plan to go AWOL.


Weather continues to be awful, but thats old hat. Anyway, will have new blog entries soon.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Festivals are times of gaiety, joy, love and laughter. They shouldn't make you feel scary, should they?


That's what Christmas makes you feel here in the UK. My third one as yet and I don't understand how people could totally shun the streets and public spaces. Here they stay at home with the family ALL day. No wonder it is a stressful time for everyone. You have to visit people you just about get along with (parents, relatives) and then spent ALL day with them, pretending to have fun. That must be a torture.


Anyway, you can't do anything outside the home. The shops are closed, the buses, trains, movie halls, restaurants. You can't even fall ill, the hospitals are closed. My nephew had a hard time getting proper treatment.


I like Diwali much better. People just descend on the streets in droves and its so lively and energetic. It feels like the most important festival for us. Christmas pales big time in comparison. It only surpasses Diwali in terms of commercialization.


Some more vitality and less commercial approach would do wonders to the Christmas spirit.

Babuwaa, kaunsi film dekhat ho

News about Bhojpuri films makes me immensely happy.


Lets have more regional films. Even if their standards are not worth the posters they are adverstised on. People need choice.


Hindi films are not longer representative of the pan-Indian culture. They are more about NRIs or yuppies who use Hindi to talk English with the rest of their folk. The milieu in the modern Bollywood film is always alien to most of India (set in Australia, US, UK or impossible mansions if in India). You may be able to survive through multiplexes and through international revenues, but the most of India will reject these films for not being representative of them. You disregard what you don't understand.


But its quite funny to know foreign babes are playing in Bhojpuri films. Amazing.

Review of browser

Cnet - review of year news - has more about Net browsers than anything else. IE moving towards RSS and tabbed browsing. RSS to be part of Longhorn in a big way.

News is here


Middle click is an extremely useful facility of Firefox. But its not as if its massivley better than IE. I have written about that earlier 1,2,3,4


But, in spite of not being on client standard list of tools, I am taking considerable risk and using it.

Constant Gardener in India

Pharmaceutical companies rush to try experimental medications on India's never-ending supply of poverty-stricken test subjects. Welcome to the real world of The Constant Gardener.


More here

King Kong

King Kong is too much of everything. A cornucopia of thrills, emotions, suspense, sfx, larger than life characters. You name it, you have it. Still, it works. Because, Peter Jackson audaciously aspires to remind the audience of what movies are or were really meant for. Movies meant passion and drama and emotionally wrought and over the top sequences. But, its no longer cool to make movies like that and fair enough. That was a phase then, but now the dialogues, the acting, the story, everything is more true to life (even in the case of sci-fi). So, when Peter Jackson attempts to make a film in the old style of film making, he is taking enormous risks. He could easily invite ridicule from the critics, who could easily pounce on him and pronounce LOTR as a fluke (after all it was shot as a single movie).


But Peter Jackson just gets away with it with vitality and humour, not seen on the screen for sometime now.


Read A O Scott's fantastic review here

I am mainly happy too!

Hope to see her in Paris during the new year's.

Crap in .doc format

I have always believed that life is more colorful, glorious, dangerous and generally eventful than fiction. It's just that, we fail to notice all the shades, because we are so used to the daily existence.

Now look at this project I am working in. Guess my employer. Call it A. Gas my client. Call it B. B is one part technology department BC and one part business BB.

A, my Indian employer has made inroads into BC. Few supports projects we executed and now we have this new project, where we (A) are responsible core design. A design team that has BC original employees only on the fringes. Even the technical management is done by A. Ignore the fact that, if we had a rotten egg sitting on the Work Packet Manger (technical manager)'s seat, it would stink lesser. (While eating namkeen I pronounced myself 'Chivda Packet Manager' and promised better distribution and management of chivda during office breaks).

Enough digression! So, we are directly talking with BB, analysing the requirements (a day before high level design delivery) and are quite happy with the relationship.

But the story has a flashback. This project is second in the series of projects. Hence heavily borrows from its predecessor. A macabre design, horribly executed (change requests taken up ad-hoc during EVERY stage of the project). And something that the users didnt want in the first place. The BC wants us to stick to the 'legacy' of this first project. So, that they can show BB and all others in B, that A is not doing anything new, that we have it made and we are not capable of doing important stuff as design.

Sidetrack - BB is ambivalent about it because the design approaches don't concern them greatly as long as we deliver what the users want. More important for BB is that we stick to design delivery deadlines and hence, any fresh, enhancements we have (I as a data modeling guy have major issues with existing database design) cannot be pushed through, because of strict timelines. Performance issues, tacky design, everything comes out of the woodwork only during testing and right now, the main goal is delivery.

Add to it, the spinelessness of us desi guys. If BC throws roadblocks in our path, they have a clear motive. To discredit A's design team and thus oust A from BC completely. Already BC pit bulls have started hounding us with even slight deviations in design. A's design lead team haven't yet given to their pressure, but you imagine them constantly leaning and bowing when BC guys are giving them a earful. Already some substantial enhancements have been shot down, under the guise of lack of time. You see, it makes sense, saves ass, if you work on crap that exists. You can blame BC later on for what went wrong. It is a typical desi approach of doing things - not sticking your neck out FOR WHAT'S RIGHT.

So, here we are, as I said, playing, flapping, mucking about in crap, glorious crap. All our design is crap in .doc format.

And it fucking makes me angry

Worth the while?

I am sitting in the train, typing this out. Train from York to Norwich. Has sort of become my weekly grind. Almost every week, I go up (its north) to York, we keep discussing the requirements (even though we are half way past the macro design stage) and the BAs come up with a whole new set of requirements. PMs should be getting hyper about this kind of stuff, but well, they don't. Apart from stringent deadlines we are also supposed to follow the architecture of earlier release. A release that was again built on top of sketchy requirements. The users look at the reports from Release 1 and go "Well, I didnt ask for that."


A lot of new stuff came out in the discussion, but the design and the management team have decided, that since we don't have time, we will build on the poor existing discussion. Any enhancements. we will deal in the next release. Now, each release sort of is dependent on the previous and so, its difficult to get away from any shoddy piece of work earlier. Coz this is a data warehouse we are talking about, normalized system, where probably, we still have isolated bits of systems that don't impinge on each other.


Essentially, we are losing a chance here to stop or extend the design and revisit the architecture bit and set it right, before its too late. And I think, we will lose that chance.


The more you work, on a project like this, the more disappointed and disillusioned you get (The good-for-nothing project lead aptly asked during the closure "Have you lost the will to live?"). You can't really blame anyone individual, coz everyone is culpable. You just want to do the right thing, but you can't, coz of all these constraints and you feel "Is it worth my time?"

"Is this something, I should care for at all?".

Learning new tricks

It gets dark by 4 pm here. Not that, it's sunny the rest of the time. It's like the day is fighting an eternal war against the forces of darkness. To get people out on the streets, they (forces of market) have taken the complete patronage of Christmas. There is light, glitter and decoration everywhere. Big Discounts and Huge marketing is the flavor of the season. People out in droves just shopping for gifts. The erstwhile religious occasion has been totally hijacked by the marketeers and has falling prey to consumerism big time (Diwali is on the way!).


Anyway, with the dreadful weather, how are people supposed to come out at all? So, I would understand the predicament of the high street. And anyway, all this melaa like atmosphere redolent of joy, love and expensive gifts, warms the cockles of everyone around.


As a part of the festivities, there is ice-skating rink setup in front of forum. Was there yesterday for the second time. Its fun ice-skating. To begin with, you are a uncontrollable mess of limbs. You try to balance yourself, one slippery step at a time, hands spreadeagled, grabbing the railing. But it doesnt last long. Your body tilts back, then front and sideways, everyone around you moves away, your legs furiously trying to be grounded. But the inevitable happens. You fall with a thud.


You get up and see all the people moving gracefully around and try to do the same thing. Imitate their moves. But your legs don't move. It just feels so hard. The surface is hard when you fall so badly


But, it happens for only about 1st half hour of your session. Slowly, you get the hang of it and you float around. Its just such a wonderful feeling to just glide, achieve a sense of complete control over your limbs and then play around.
Having done it about 4 times, I can say, that I am comfortable skating now. I am not a complete pro but its fun. Obviously, I would love to do it effortlessly, probably will happen over a period of time.


Swimming has been a different ball game altogether. After having done it at IIT (though just for a month), I totally lost touch. After 2 sessions here, manage to float for about 5 feet, but then either am out of breath or strength.


With a skill, the obvious thing is that you learn it faster and better as a kid (except sex, wherein you havent got the necessary tools as a child). As an adult, you are taught the techniques, but with such massively sprawled appendages and unwieldly body, which has not been put to proper use for a long time, its difficult to control your motor functions. Everything is so massively taxing on your body. Your brain needs to be rewired again.


Right now, I am smelling of chlorine (something like bathroom bleach), but I think I need to bear the stink to feel and act like a fish in water.